shampoo:

how do i achieve immortality and perfect eyebrows

nullbula:

ignorntatheist:

If you think eating healthy is cheap you either live with your parents or have never actually been to a grocery store

let me put it this way, i can buy ten ramen or one apple

problemspoof:

tonessawicki:

why does everyone look so surprised when i say the reason for cutting my hair short is the hot weather, what were u expecting “i need to take my father’s place in war and the chinese army won’t accept women” ???

So what you’re saying is that you’re not going to help defend China from the Huns…?

lookatmytitle:

kennysboat:

you’re not a true gamer until you shove an entire ps4 up your ass

You mean I shoved that ps3 up my ass for nothing

vosska:

pricklylegs:

Any last words…

actual footage of the skeleton war

vosska:

pricklylegs:

Any last words…

actual footage of the skeleton war

"Everyone has a 2am and a 2pm personality. I’m more interested in the monster you become at 2am rather than the human being you pretend to be at 2pm."

nativeandnaive:

legendxofxzach:

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

methlaboratories:

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP

eyareilrahc:

See this… this is how it’s done.

No “you don’t look chunky, you look beautiful.”
No “you don’t look chunky” at all.

Just complete acceptance. Yeah, you look how you do, and how you look is beautiful. Mama gets it.

therealgingerjedi:

this will never not be funny

phleps:

theirye’re*